It’s 3.03 am and welcome back to The Witching Hour. Yes, that’s right nerds. I am bringing to you this episode of the podcast in an attempt to burn all past romantic bridges and remind Aristotle once and for all that I am still a popular hottie, and WAY out of his league. Anyway. Tonight we take a trip down memory lane, listen to some sexy tunes, and stalk my ex! All in the name of love. Or power. Whatever.

All this excavating of my old teenage stone carvings has really got me thinking, dear listener. Am I ready to get back on the dating scene? It has been a few millennium, and to be honest, this whole ‘I’m a girl boss who don’t need no B-list lover tying me down’ is starting to get old. Perhaps it’s time for me to whip out the old Tibetan antelope boots, get every inch of my body polished like a primordial rock, and get back out there! Now that it’s summer in this pre-Christian city, I think it’s about time that I make like Jesus, and recruit some unsuspecting bearded men in sandals to wine and dine me. The mindless hook-up culture really is hard when your silk turban bedtime routine is as rigorous as mine. Some of these degenerate fools here in ancient Greece must think that I was born with such supple, thyme scented skin! P-LEASE! It takes a village of sibyls to make me look this eternally youthful. Anyway, perhaps I’ll give online dating a try. Hey! Would you look at that? Seems like I’ll be making quite the match in the next 12-26 hours of downloading Humble™*. Sure, perhaps a little on the French side, but hey, that’s fine by me! (He’s only half French, so hopefully our first date won’t turn out anything like my DISASTROUS bistro lunch date with Napoleon. NEVER date a man in a bicorne.) Well, wish me luck you tellurian minxes! I’ll catch you on the flip side.

*The dating app for seasoned method actors of considerable fame and excellent hair.

PS. If any of you mortals happen to spot any rugged, charming, psychic leaning, harness wearing, skilled farmhand/tech giants/general Forbes list participants, please contact Psychic Sibyl at the Oracle Sanctuary of Delphi. I’m ready to finally settle down and find a trophy husband/wife/non-binary subservient life partner! Hit me up!

It's 3.03 am. Welcome to the Witching Hour. Join your favourite pre-Christian prophet, Psychic Sibyl, as she takes you on a wild ride through the cosmic realm. Some content may not be suitable for those not seeking to uncover the deepest secrets of the unknown spiritual universe.