ALL POSTS, Fairly Chatty, Fairly Chatty, re: views of the world

The Witching Hour That Changed My Life | Psychic Sibyl vs. the PLA

Oh, hello, there. Welcome back to a very special episode of The Witching Hour. Sibyl here, your favourite pre-Christian prophet, bringing to you this divine broadcast from the hidden inner circles of the room of deception in my subterfuge chamber. You may notice that things are not at all as they seem. It is currently 3.03am. Perhaps foolishly, I have left the new intern, Psychic Mike, in charge of delivering all the cosmic truth bombs to you sexy mortal minxes for this month, so that I could take some time to see to some rather urgent online feuds. So, apologies in advance if any of you are physically or emotionally scarred after reading the dangerously loaded life advice for June. Psychic Mike is still in training. The poor man. Great ass, but little else going on in terms of budding psychic powers.

Anyway, back to the matter at hand: getting rid of my podcast nemesis once and for all.

art fire GIF by Jay Sprogell

Through no fault of my own, I have been forced to take some slightly drastic action and am currently wearing my manic psychic poncho. I haven’t whipped this bad boy out since the late 1700s when things were getting heated down on French soil. Anyway, it has recently come to my attention – nay, to my alarm – that there is an unbalanced scale floating around the astrological realm and it has really been messing with the already rather tipsy planetary alignments. Not to mention that all this is clearly fucking up the podcast algorithm. Because, dear listeners, it has come to my attention that my podcast is being overshadowed by another, far less sophisticated broadcast, The Songs That Changed My Life, or whatever. The mastermind behind this rival production is clearly out to destroy me. However, I was able to trace back the aquatic frequency and locate this mortal podcast host in Paris, France. I have spent the past fortnight staking out her left bank flat and trying to overlook the pure, aggressive aggressive volume of her hair. In my downtime, I was also able to uncover the genealogical lineage of her entire family, past, present and future, and whilst this inferior podcast host thinks that she is making a particularly pertinent political statement by opting out of Facebook, rest assured that her already extensive internet footprint was more than enough for me to cultivate the perfect smear campaign. 

matheusscastro vintage surreal sci-fi collage GIF

That is, until I realised that mere internet shame would not be enough to squash this opponent. No, no. You mortals are more than equipped to deal with the repercussions of a little cancel culture these days. More permanent measures would have to be taken. I would need to evoke all of the metaphysical powers that be and truly end this PLA once and for all- before I receive yet another 1 star review from an Edinburgh-based Mormon, who has just been released into the online world with a god complex and a monthly recruitment quota to fill. It is too late for amicable attempts or mutually beneficial cross podcast collabs. My psychic reputation is at stake, and I have been given specific orders from the Oracle to end the PLA before she has a chance to bag Bad Bunny for real and catapults to true internet fame. Verdad. I cannot allow her online celebrity to surpass my own. And I certainly cannot allow her to get the scoop on Bad Bunny before I do. I bet she doesn’t even know that he is a Pisces! 

So here we are. It’s D-day. The Witching Hour is here, and I will be joined live by my sworn podcast enemy, the PLA. Only, nothing will be quite as it seems and things are about to get a little witchy up in here…

It's 3.03 am. Welcome to the Witching Hour. Join your favourite pre-Christian prophet, Psychic Sibyl, as she takes you on a wild ride through the cosmic realm. Some content may not be suitable for those not seeking to uncover the deepest secrets of the unknown spiritual universe.

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